DJ Cassidy feat. Jessie J and Robin Thicke – “Calling All Hearts”

DJ Cassidy at Met Gala

When I first saw DJ Cassidy at the 2013 MTV VMAs, I thought he was a cornball hipster DJ in a straw boater hat.

Then I find out he’s been DJing for every major American celebrity and the president. He’s Obama’s fucking DJ! DJ Cassidy was Jay Z and Justin Timberlake’s choice for the Legends of Summer Tour.

And on top of all this, he’s been working on an album of original material based on the disco-funk-R&B sounds of the 70s and 80s called Paradise Royale. Cassidy recruited the actually session musicians from his favorite records of yore and gathered them up to make new dance hits for the 21st century.

“Calling All Hearts” has the leadoff single for quite awhile, and it finally got a video to see the light of day. Cassidy also mythologizes the origin of his signature boater hat by acquiring it from a Geoffrey-doppleganger haberdasher.

Everything about this track and video are laughable. Jessie J is apparently a big deal in the UK, but in the US I know her as the chubby British chick with a broken foot and bootleg Aeon Flux haircut. So, excuse me if my brain can’t register that the P!nk wannabe in this video was a brunette chick with a goofy accent.

Robin Thicke, regardless of when he actually filmed his part, is suffering through a brutal separation with his wife, Paula Patton. So seeing Robin mug for the camera or pulling Jessie closer to do the 2-step are just ways for haters to keep lowering Thicke’s popularity.

But the worst part of the video is still DJ Cassidy. Because like other DJs who fashion themselves as tastemakers and musical gatekeepers, Cassidy seems like a whole lotta flash or very little substance. At his best, what is DJ Cassidy? A disco version of DJ Khaled? Ugggh he does all the same shit: mug for the camera and hop around to the beat like gawddamn idiot. A very rhythmic jump around because, after all, this track does grow on you…unless you can’t stand DJ Cassidy and hipster straw hat.


ADVERTISEMENT: Click Here to Learn the dirty little secrets about Bitcoin! Earn $5K/month!