DJ Khaled feat. Chris Brown, August Alsina, Future, and Jeremih – “Hold You Down”

DJ Khaled feat. Chris Brown, August Alsina, Future, and Jeremih - "Hold You Down"

For years DJ Khaled has managed to assemble rappers together to do features on tracks he may have produced. As long as Khaled throws in a “We The Best!” verbal watermark, the uncaring public knew that the next 4-6 minutes will be filled with a somewhat hot track slathered with mediocre or hand-me-down rhymes and possibly a melodic hook. Khaled has managed to convince the most popular contemporary rappers in the world to rap on his records: Lil Wayne, Drake, Rick Ross, Ludacris, Kanye West, Nicki Minaj, and many more. So in that same vein, he has assembled the best most popular(?) R&B contemporary crossover singers(ish) of 2014.

But really, the song is outshined by the sheer ridiculousness of DJ Khaled’s wooden acting ability. I don’t think he’s acting. I believe Khaled demands his girlfriends to say his name on command. I believe all the alcohol and headphone product placement is reproduced in his own house with stacked boxes of promotional loot.

And when Khaled says to the girl that he’ll “hold you down,” I know he thinks it means that he will support her. But by the word’s other definition, Khaled will hold, as in prevent her from ascending, her down mentally, financially, spiritually, and physically

The thankless actress who endures Khaled’s “say my name” queries.
The shitty New Edition re-creation.
The slow motion smash cuts of bathwater, lingerie, and fuckniggery.
The endless pointing, preening, and wingflapping of all the singers.
You get all of this and a song of such little consequence that I won’t even talk about it.

Enjoy the “headsario” (Khaled’s word, I think) and his 4 hired singers warbling over a typical 2010s radio friendly production. “Hold You Down” is the first single from the I Changed A Lot album.


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