DJ Khaled feat. Chris Brown, August Alsina, Future, and Jeremih – “Hold You Down” Aug11

DJ Khaled feat. Chris Brown, August Alsina, Future, and Jeremih – “Hold You Down”...

For years DJ Khaled has managed to assemble rappers together to do features on tracks he may have produced. As long as Khaled throws in a “We The Best!” verbal watermark, the uncaring public knew that the next 4-6 minutes will be filled with a somewhat hot track slathered with mediocre or hand-me-down rhymes and possibly a melodic hook. Khaled has managed to convince the most popular contemporary rappers in the world to rap on his records: Lil Wayne, Drake, Rick Ross, Ludacris, Kanye West, Nicki Minaj, and many more. So in that same vein, he has assembled the best most popular(?) R&B contemporary crossover singers(ish) of 2014. But really, the song is outshined by the sheer ridiculousness of DJ Khaled’s wooden acting ability. I don’t think he’s acting. I believe Khaled demands his girlfriends to say his name on command. I believe all the alcohol and headphone product placement is reproduced in his own house with stacked boxes of promotional loot. And when Khaled says to the girl that he’ll “hold you down,” I know he thinks it means that he will support her. But by the word’s other definition, Khaled will hold, as in prevent her from ascending, her down mentally, financially, spiritually, and physically The thankless actress who endures Khaled’s “say my name” queries. The shitty New Edition re-creation. The slow motion smash cuts of bathwater, lingerie, and fuckniggery. The endless pointing, preening, and wingflapping of all the singers. You get all of this and a song of such little consequence that I won’t even talk about it. Enjoy the “headsario” (Khaled’s word, I think) and his 4 hired singers warbling over a typical 2010s radio friendly production. “Hold You Down” is the first single from the I Changed A Lot...

DJ Khaled feat. Jay-Z, Rick Ross, Meek Mill, and French Montana – “They Don’t Love You No More” [tags] Apr29

DJ Khaled feat. Jay-Z, Rick Ross, Meek Mill, and French Montana – “They Don’t Love You No More” [tags]...

I keep listening DJ Khaled’s newest posse cut looking for redeeming qualities. Meek Mill comes out of the gate with ferocity. Rick Ross delivers a nice bridge verse well within his range. French Montana is once again relegated to hook-singing and hype-manning. DJ Khaled talks at the end of the record to qualify for royalty checks. And Jay Z somehow finds himself in the studio ready for battle. I mean that was Jiggaman’s goal when he compared some “soft” unnamed rapper to a lacrosse team. Or maybe he had so much to say, you can excuse Jay for flying way off beat on the opening bars of his verse. It doesn’t matter. Mike Zombie delivers a lazy production job taking the “Started From The Bottom” beat, substituting church bells for keyboard lullaby, and adding strategic gunshots. Keep riding that horse into the ground. Overall, this DJ Khaled track is sloppy as fuck. You can’t dance to it. It doesn’t feel like elevating jeep music. It’s just another rap dirge put upon listeners to reinforce our hate against haters....